I have a strange type of OCD called musical obsession. It’s very rare, and very annoying.
Let me try to explain what it’s like. You know when you have a song stuck in your head (commonly referred to as an earworm) and you just can’t get it out? It’s kind of like that, but on steroids. See, with an earworm, there are a multitude of ways to get the song out of your head: sing the song, listen to the song, listen to another song, etc.
But musical obsession is where one line of a song gets stuck in my head on a loop and does not go away no matter what I do. Not only that, but the way the brain uses music to obsess over makes it so even if someone mentions a song that I know, that song then becomes stuck. Commercial jingles, “trigger words,” a single note of a song, or anything resembling music will ultimately become an obsession and not leave me alone. It plays endlessly all day, all night, and even wakes me up. It plays while I’m having a conversation with someone. It plays while listening to other music. In my head, there’s a never-ending concert happening, and it’s the worst concert imaginable, because a song never completes, and I can never leave.
My musical obsession came about during my spiritual awakening eleven years ago (what doctors call a nervous breakdown with psychosis). My brain/ego decided to protect itself from feeling too much or losing control again by repeating music in my head so that I cannot focus on anything else. It’s exacerbated by stress, anxiety, or depression, and as I’m an animal empath, clairsentient, and heavily in tune with all planetary aspects, my anxiety and stress are pretty much always ramped up.Guided Meditation is the ONLY Thing that Calms it Down
For anyone who has OCD in the form of counting, music, mental contamination (affirmations are also wonderful for this), rumination, intrusive thoughts, and spikes, guided meditation most likely will help you out as well.
Of course meditation in general aids in stress relief, anxiety, depression, and an overall feeling of calmness, but it also helps the meditator to detach from the ego and center themselves.
Why Guided Meditation?
Though all forms of meditation are beneficial, I find that guided meditation is the ultimate for this type of OCD. As the guide speaks, your only job is to listen and/or visualize. It deals with all aspects of getting your mind away from the compulsive thoughts by focusing your attention elsewhere while your subconscious absorbs positive information instead of the nagging negative patterns your ego is creating.Transcendental Meditation, for example, is the repeating of a mantra over and over. As we are trying to stay away from obsessive thoughts, this may not be the best solution. Mindfulness Meditation is where we ultimately want to get to, as it helps to slow the thoughts and become aware of the body through breath. But to start off with this type of meditation can actually make your compulsions worse, as you are becoming present in the body, which can make certain compulsive thoughts arise. Body Scan Meditation/Yoga Nidra – my absolute least favorite of meditation types – has you focus on every single part of the body one-by-one and notice any feelings you have in that body part. This meditation usually takes an hour to an hour and a half, and the anxiety that I (and a lot of people that I know with anxiety) have felt during it, does not end up helping, but instead making things much, much worse. But hey, if you’ve practiced Body Scan Meditation and it works for you, it really doesn’t matter what I say.
Just Try It
I urge you to give Guided Meditation a go. You can watch a short guided meditation video on YouTube and see how it works for you. Some days your OCD may be so crazy that you can’t even focus on the meditation. I certainly have those days. But you take a breath, say “it’s okay, this is where I’m at today,” and either try again later, or try the next day.
Calming the ego is like getting over an addiction, as the ego is in fact an addiction. It’s a day-by-day process and you will most definitely fall off the wagon certain days, but you pick yourself up, give yourself a break, and try again tomorrow.
All my best and highest vibrations,